Knitty Mummy

The Blogger's Dozen

2012-02-19T11:46:00.000Z

I’ve been tagged by mother.wife.me to complete the meme The Bloggers (Dirty) Dozen. This is going to be tough!!

Here are the rules:

. You must post the rules

. Post 12 fun facts about yourself in the blog post

. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you in their post and then create 12 new questions for the fellow bloggers you plan to tag

. Tag 12 people and link to them on your blog

. Let them know you tagged them

12 fun facts about me

I’ve got massive size 9 feet (or a 43 if you use European labeling)
I’ve recently discovered you can polish a cake
I’ve got a double jointed left thumb
I can turn my tongue upside down (and so could my Grandpa)
I’m still mourning the loss of Somerfield peanut butter (it was the best, but it went when Co-op took over)
I can’t bear tomatoes
I had 3 pet ferrets when I was a teenager
I want a pet, but my husband doesn’t
In “Noddy and the big chicken roundup” I’m one of the skittle kids (I say “good morning Big Ears”)
When we get my son a scooter for his 3^rd birthday I’m going to get one too!
I can’t drive – during my last driving lesson (a long time ago) I got out and left the car at a junction and walked home
I once asked Michael Palin if he was lost

The 12 questions from mother.wife.me answered:

· Favourite beach to spend time on? A little hidden beach in Pembrokeshire that we found on holiday when I was 18, we walked there, but the way to go was by boat. I have no idea what it was called.

· Why did you start blogging? To chat to grownups!

· Chocolate or cheese? Maybe if I bring myself to try chocolate Philadelphia I won’t have to choose (except the concept sounds revolting)

· What does it take to bring a tear to your eye – either happy or sad? I’ll cry at anything

· Has being a parent panned out as you thought it would? I did think I’d be a bit Bree Van Der Kamp, baking and cooking marvelous dinners, but other than that yes.

· Which blogger inspires you the most? Purple Mum

· Name five guests for your fantasy dinner party? George Clooney, Jon Stewart, Jamie Oliver, Jewel, Oliver Postgate

· Which song sends a shiver down your spine? Morning Song by Jewel was the first dance at our wedding. Its about having a lie in, but I realised halfway through the dance that all my guests thought it was about sex.

· Ever had déjà vu? No

· Ever had déjà vu? Yes

· Which movie would you like to have starred in? Dirty Dancing or Grease

How do you feel now you’ve completed this set of questions? Worried that I won’t be able to make up 12 of my own

My 12 questions for you to answer:

Who would play you in a movie?
What is the oddest part of your body?
Have you broken anything?
What skill do you wish you had?
Who is your other-half’s fantasy famous lover?
And who is yours?
What do you put on toast?
Do your undies match?
What feature is top of your list for your dream house?
Socks – black or patterned?
If you had an hour with no interruptions what would you do?
Period property or new build?

And finally 12 people to answer this:

Purple Mum

Violet Posy

What are we doing today Mummy?

Needles and Pans

Motherventing

Bishopston Mum

Agghhhh new blogger problem – I don’t know that many bloggers, I’ll have to fail on this part and go for a blogger's half dozen. Sorry

The Wrong Side of the Camera

2012-02-16T14:03:00.000Z

In my previous non-mummy life I worked in TV post-production. So I’m used to being behind the camera – in fact so far behind the camera that I was miles away in an office just sending cameramen out to film things. But a couple of days ago I got a taste of being on the other side.

I found it really nerve-wracking, but also nice and familiar. It was nice seeing a professional camera (and camerawoman), big microphones and hearing technical terms that had been hidden in my mind’s filing cabinet only to be bought out and placed firmly in my brain’s inbox.

The other funny thing was being recognised, but not recognised properly. It was only a tiny thing, its not like I was suddenly a celebrity, just people in the local shops smiling at me in a “I know you, but don’t know why so I’m just going to be polite and grin” way. It put me in a very good mood to be smiled at all day. I think we should all make more effort to smile at strangers; spread a little sunshine on a chilly day.

So this won’t be my ticket to appearing on Strictly Come Dancing (the only reason I can think of to be famous) but the mechanics in the local garage did ask for my autograph!

I've been thinking too hard about Fairy Tales

2012-02-10T14:17:00.000Z

Why does the three bear's porridge defy the laws physics? Lets think about this; porridge from one pan goes into 3 bowls; a big one, a middle-sized one and a small one. When Goldilocks arrives the big one is too hot (makes sense, bigger volume, its going to retain its heat longer) but the middle-sized one is somehow colder that the small one which is just right!!! How does that work? Did Mummy bear put hers in the fridge? Or did she leave baby bear's on a 1970's style hotplate?

My problems with the Three Bears go further. Goldilocks rejects Daddy Bear's bed because it is too high, yet she was already lying on it when she decided this. Surely a bed is only too high if you can't physically get onto it. Its not only the Three Bears that make no sense (yes I know they are children's stories and I'm taking it too seriously, but I'm not complaining about the fact that bears have beds, chairs and eat porridge, just that their food appears to come from a parallel universe with different physics).

The Three Billy Goats Gruff makes me gruff. They can't cross the bridge because the Troll is there, the smallest goat finally ventures on and convinces the Troll not to eat him, but wait for his larger brother. So far so good. In fact quite a good story to teach children patience - wait longer and you'll get a bigger goat to eat (if thats what your kids like, mine prefer fish fingers, but they can't trip-trapp across bridges). The middle sized goat plays the same trick on the Troll, and then the bit that gets my goat (so to speak). The biggest goat crosses the bridge and when confronted by the Troll butts him into the water, never to be seen again. So if the big goat could do this why didn't he cross the bridge first? In fact, why did he not do this years ago rather than waiting for the grass on their side of the bridge to run out first?

There are also other Fairy Tales that meddle with physics; the three pigs don't put the water on the fire until the wolf starts climbing the chimney, yet by the time he falls in the water its boiling. Think about the time it takes to boil a kettle - now think how long that might be if that kettle was big enough to put a wolf in. How slowly was the wolf climbing? Its only a house big enough to house one pig, its not the Empire State Building.

And you really don't want to get my started about why they wolf doesn't just eat Little Red Riding Hood when he first meets her in the wood......

Brrrrr….time to get out the Mummy Mitts

2012-02-03T20:47:00.000Z

Baby, its cold out there – but I’ve still got to get topreschool, do the shopping and take the kids somewhere entertaining. So itstime to bring out my beloved Mummy Mitts. These are gloves that strap onto thehandles of the pushchair, you may have seen them on Dragon’s Den.

The Dragons, being rich and mainly male, don’t know what itslike to be pushing your children to the shops when one needs a nose blowing(and you have to take your gloves off). Then you need to get your debit cardout (and you have to take your gloves off). Then your child takes their glovesoff and you have to put them back on (after taking yours off). Then your mobilerings (and you have to take your gloves off – you can’t operate an iPhone withgloves on).

This is why I love my Mummy Mitts. I would have lost severalpairs of gloves on the afore mentioned shopping trip alone! Normal gloves wouldhave been put in my pocket and fallen out, left by the till in a shop or on thebus. You can’t loose your Mummy Mitts when you take them off (unless you are sounbelievably forgetful that forgot you came out with your children in the firstplace).

Mummy Mitts are also waterproof and very warm. They are big,so your hands slip in easily – I can take mine on and off without breakingstride.

This is going to be my last winter with the pushchair infull time use, I’m going to miss my un-looseable gloves. What am I going to donext year? I might have to sew my normal gloves to a piece of elastic just as I’vedone for the kids!

Disclaimer: I received nothing from mummy mitts for this review, the above opinions are all my own.

Roo-a-saurus

2012-01-30T12:37:00.000Z

A few weeks ago I wrote about random objects found in children's toys (original post here). The story now continues.

We gave my son some dinosaur toys for Christmas, yesterday my daughter brought one over to me and said "what kind of dinosaur is this mummy?". Well it really stumped me. I'm no dinosaur identification expert, but I was pretty sure that no dinosaurs had ears. It looked like a kangaroo's head on T. rex's body. It was time to call in the professionals. Luckily I have an old friend who is a palaeontologist.

Dave was stumped when I described it to him, so I sent a photo. You can read his response here.

Big Hair

2012-01-29T19:48:00.001Z

All my life people have commented on how they would love tohave thick hair like mine, I would just like to put them straight and say “noyou wouldn’t”.

Now, you are all thinking that this is just like asupermodel complaining that she wishes she could put on weight. Someone who hassomething everyone wants trying to get rid of it. But you don’t know thereality of having thick hair. Oh how I wish I had less hair.

I’ve got so much hair that hairdressers go and get otherhairdressers to look in amazement at it. So much hair that hairdressers book meextra long appointments. So much hair that it puts boobles under so much strainthat they have been known to give way and ping across the room.

I’m going to let you in on a sight that only my nearest anddearest get to see – me just after a blowdry. I don’t usually dry my hair, ittakes such a long time it makes my arms hurt. Luckily my hair only needswashing once a week so I leave it to dry naturally all day on the weekend. Itdoes take ALL day, not only is my hair thick it also appears to be made ofsponge! Once it is dry I bring out the GHD straighteners – I don’t know what Idid before they were invented, after straightening I almost look like I’ve gotnormal-person hair!

Has anyone out there figured out how to control their bighair? Help me!

So here is my secret - me before (and after) straightening……

There's a hole in my wall!

2012-01-22T17:28:00.001Z

The building work has started and I’ve spent the last weekfeeling like I was covered in a thin layer of dust – everything in the housecertainly was. But there is good news on the dust front; the wall is down sothe rest of the work, although it will be disruptive, won’t be so messy. The weekend has been cleaning, cleaningand a bit more cleaning. I started at the top and worked down, there was dustEVERYWHERE. It’s was a good excuse for a proper spring clean.

I’m really pleased with the speed that everything ishappening. I never expected this part of the work to be done in just a week.We’ve still got a couple of weeks of fiddly little bits for the builders(plumbing, electrics, plastering) before the new kitchen arrives. Here are afew work in progress pictures so you can see what chaos we are living with:

that wall had to come down and go back up again to make it a supporting wall

The new step is being built - can't wait to be able to walk straight into the dining room

After

Before

My 10 Favourite Books for Under 5s

2012-01-16T21:54:00.000Z

Its very important that parents enjoy reading the books thattheir children like, after all you are going to read them again, and again, andagain, and then a few times more! My pet peeves with children’s books are when thingsseem like they should rhyme, but don’t or when some lines accidentally rhyme.It ruins the flow of reading aloud.

I also object to speech bubbles. These are fine when a childis reading themselves and can see which character is talking, but I prefer thespeech to be written into the text, as its not always obvious on first readingwhere best to say the section in the speech bubble, or if I will be repeatingmyself to say both the main body of text and the speech bubble. I’m tired, Ineed someone to come up with a set of rules on how to use speech bubbles thateveryone must comply with. Don’t make me do any more thinking than isabsolutely necessary.

These books are my personal favourites, and if I read themwith passion because I enjoy reading them, then my children enjoy hearing them:

Everything by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler

I couldn’t include these books separately as they would takeup half the list! These are so easy to read; the text just trips off thetongue. Of course I love The Gruffalo, but Zog and Monkey Puzzle are myfavourites.

Who’s in the Loo? By Jeanne Willis and Adrian Reynolds

Another book with easily flowing prose, a little addedtoilet humour and a penguin having a stand-up wee! Could you ask for anythingmore?

Big Red Bath By Julia Jarman and Adrian Reynolds

Illustrated by the same artist as Who’s in the Loo? it seemsthat Ben and Bella from this book are the children trying to figure out whythere is a queue for the toilet. This time they have moved across the bathroomand are having an amazing fantasy bath with a host of animal friends. I lovethe way the rhythm of the book speeds up to the exciting climax of theadventure and then suddenly calms as everything returns to reality.

Man on the Moon: A day in the life of Bob & Bob’s best ever friend by Simon Bartram

The illustrations in these books are astonishing, the sameattention to detail (especially in the background) as you would find with AxelScheffler, but painstakingly painted in acrylic. There is so much to see, it’sa good job I know these by heart, now I can enjoy the illustrations whilstreading. I also love how whatshould be an amazing job of being in charge of the moon, is just treated like anormal 9 to 5 job, I mean, why wouldn’t you commute to the moon daily?

You Choose by Pippa Goodhart and Nick Sharatt

Another of my favourite illustrators Nick Sharatt hascrammed this book full of pictures for your child to choose from. You startchoosing where you would like to go, from a single illustration the landscapechanges from city to mountains, from volcanoes to paddy fields, from desert toseaside and even into space. Further pages let you choose outfits, houses,modes of transport and where you want to sleep. I don’t know of any other bookwhere you could teach your children the names of such diverse objects.

Kipper’s A to Z by Mick Inkpen

Alphabet books are usually so boring, but this actuallymanages to make a story out of Kipper and Arnold finding things beginning witheach letter. My favourite letter is N which features a zebra – and Kippersaying “N is for No Not Now”

Threadbear by Mick Inkpen

This is an adorable story of a worn out bear whose squeakerhas never squeaked because he’s too tightly stuffed and has always felt he isletting Ben (his owner) down because of this. Its OK – it all works out in theend!

Stuck by Oliver Jeffers

Getting a kite out of a tree becomes rather absurd. A littleboy throws his shoe up to knock it out of the tree, but his shoe gets stucktoo, so he has to throw more and more bizarre objects into the tree to try toknock each previous item out. When his kite finally frees itself he goes home,leaving a very full tree.

The Tiger who Came to Tea by Judith Kerr

I once heard an interview with Kerr where she was asked ifThe Tiger who came to Tea was about Hitler (Kerr was a Jewish refugee), herreply was “no, its about a Tiger who came to tea”, I don't think the plot requires any more explanation!

All of the Hairy Maclary books by Lynley Dodd

I love the short lines of prose, leading to rapid, rhyming,rhythmic reading. There are so many characters, but my favourite has to beSchnitzel Von Krumm (with the very low tum) when I read his name I want to getmyself a daschund just so I can call him the same.

Alright, thats more than 10, lets call this post my 10(ish) favourite books for under 5s!

How to hold an Octonauts Birthday Party

2012-01-12T14:24:00.004Z

My children are both obsessed with Octonauts; it’s very funny to hear a 2 year old say “Octonauts, to your stations”. So when it came round to their joint birthday party (their birthdays are only a few days apart) there was one very obvious theme.

The party was much like any other child’s party, there were balloons, cake and pass-the-parcel. It was just all very underwatery.

Invites

I found a picture of the Octonauts online, then used phrases like “flappity-flippers you are invited to a party” and “shiver-me whiskers its at 3 o’clock” to print out my own invites

Decorations

We are very lucky to have a neighbour who has a sister who lives in Sweden, why, well they have an annual crayfish festival, so I was able to borrow lobster shaped fairy lights and paper streamers. Most people won’t have access to such unusual decorations, but it is easy to make crepe paper seaweed and blow up some blue balloons.

Craft

To enable the children to have a bit of a time out from all the excitement and running around I set up a craft table. We made Octonaut hats and paper plate fish. The hats were pre-cut; so all they had to do was glue on the logo I’d printed and get a grownup to staple the strap on to make it the right size. To make the fish I bought small paper plates in a variety of colours and cut a wedge out of each. The cut where the wedge was makes the mouth and gluing the wedge to the back makes the tail. I then let them go made with stickers and “scales” cut from metallic wrapping paper and glue.

Pass-the-parcel

Rather than putting sweets in every layer before the Octonauts themed prize everyone got a pirate eye-patch, so they could be just like Kwazii. Make sure you’ve got a few spare in case any break.

Food

I found I could go to town on fish themed food; there were so many ideas I found on pinterest I couldn’t make them all. I made each child a party box for their food because we didn’t have enough room for them all to sit around the table so we had an indoor picnic. I bought plain white boxes and then made the Octonauts medical logo to stick on each. This gave each child his own version of Peso’s medical bag. If you want a PDF of the logo that I made click here.

Apart from all the usual party food I made “fish biscuits” (just like the vegimals do) by cutting out my Nanna’s cheese straw recipe with a fish shaped cutter.

I also made clam biscuits, an idea I got from greygreydesigns, I put pink icing on one ginger biscuit, placed a mini marshmallow in the middle and another ginger biscuit on top of that, sticking it with the icing. The eyes are Wilton Candy eyeballs, which I bought online as they don’t seem to be widely available in the UK.

It wouldn’t be a children’s party without jelly and this one didn’t escape the fish treatment. I found this idea on the Martha Stewart website. All you do is cut slits into a set jelly and slide the fish inside. I had to buy the blue Jell-O from an importer of American food on EBay because no UK company makes blue jelly. If you can’t get blue then the Martha Stewart website tells you how to make it from gelatin.

Cake

I went with the GUP-A in the end (after toying very briefly with how I might make an Octopod). I’m only learning how to ice cakes, so the GUP itself is a bit rubbish – but I’m really pleased with the figures. These were moulded from pre-coloured regal icing, and it was a lot like making models from plasticine, only a bit stickier. If you are anti cake making, I would buy a plain cake and then have a go at modelling the characters in icing to go on top, as this bit wasn’t too hard.

Sound the Octoalert - Octonaut mothers – to the kitchen!

Highs and Lows of 2011

2012-01-08T22:36:00.000Z

Oh, I’ve been tagged to take part in my very first meme. My immediatethought was The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins, taking me back to the firstyear of my degree. A meme being a thought or a cultural element passed downlike a gene, only quicker because you can pass it to people other than yourchildren. So I guess I need to pass this on……

What was your happiest event? Holiday with my family, my mum,my stepdad, my brother, my sister-in-law, my nephews, my niece and amazingApril weather

What was the saddest thing to happen? The loss of someone too young

What was the most unlikely thing to happen that actually went aheadand did? Me getting the chance to be properly ill and stay in bed and do nothing.Didn’t enjoy it one little bit!

Who let you down? Friends

Who supported you? My lovely husband, other friends

Tell us one thing you learned? You can polish a cake (will thatscare everyone off Purple Mum?!)

Tell us one thing that made you laugh? Dave Gorman (2^ndfunniest comedian – if you’ve seen his Powerpoint presentation show you’ll getthat)

Tell us one thing that made you cry? Loneliness

Tell us three things your children did to make you feel proud? My son speaking, mydaughter taking her first tentative steps into reading, my daughter eatingcauliflower without coaxing (a MAJOR event)

Tell us one thing that made you proud of yourself? I made a dress thateveryone compliments me on

Tell us one challenge you overcame? 2 small children on the train!

Is there anything you would like to change about your life in 2012 I’d like lessstressful mealtimes with the kids

So to pass it on here you go What are we doing today mummy and Needles and Pans?

Build-a-Bear Review

2012-01-07T10:39:00.000Z

My children we lucky enough to receive giftcards forBuild-a-Bear for Christmas, I’ve never had an excuse to go there before, so it was going to bean exciting experience for us all.

For those who haven’t been before, this is how it works;firstly choose an un-stuffed bear and a sound to put in it. The staff will thenstuff the bear using a big machine (a bit like a reverse Hoover hose) in whichyou can see the fluff blowing around in a big tank. They let the kids operatethe machine with the foot pedal, but as my kids are quite shy they didn’t wantto do this. Then the child chooses a satin heart, kisses the heart and placesit inside the bear, before the hole is closed up.

Afterwards you make a “birth certificate” for your bear andchoose some clothes if you want. The birth certificate acts to register yourbear, which has an identity tag inside. If it is lost (and returned to build abear) they can return it to you. It’s a bit like microchipping a pet!

My daughter picked a bear with camouflage fur which she hascalled “Florence”; my son a cream bear which he has called “Punsey” because hethinks all bears are called “Pudsey” after the Children in Need bear, but hecan’t say it properly! Neither of them wanted a sound inside their bear.

They are very generously stuffed bears, which makes for avery satisfying cuddle (I have been giving them a squeeze when the kids aren’tplaying with them). The kids both adore their bears, but I think they might bea tad young to fully enjoy the experience of making them. They didn’t reallyunderstand the birth certificate bit and they were too nervous to take part inthe stuffing bit, although they did enjoy choosing a heart. I would think thata 5 or 6 year old would think it was wonderful. They would be old enough toread the birth certificate and brave enough to help stuff the bear.

One thing that had put me off in the past was the thoughtthat I would go in there and want to choose a more expensive bear, but Ithought that the cheapest selection of bears priced at about £9 were the nicestones (sounds and clothes are extra). I did however feel that the clothesselection was either very boyish or very girly with little middle ground. As mydaughter isn’t a girly girl there wasn’t much for her to choose from, so weleft the last bit of the money on the gift card for another day, she’s going tohave a think about what she wants and go back later.

Disclaimer: I received nothing from build-a-bear for this review, the opinions of the experience are all my own.

How not to design a kitchen

2012-01-02T15:52:00.000Z

In the next few days we will be turning our house into abuilding site, knocking down a wall and getting a new kitchen. Before thekitchen is ripped out I thought I would take a few photos of how not to designa kitchen.

The cooker is against a wall

This means that I can’t use all 4 rings at the same time,because there is nowhere to put the fourth handle. Also, if I cook on one ofthe left hand rings, things on the side of the pan nearest the wall cook faster(or burn) because of the reflected heat.

The section of wall where you can see the paint testers is going to be knocked down

Due to lack of cupboard space the bread is currently stored on top of the scales!!

Lack of useable workspace

Even though it is a reasonable sized kitchen there is onlyworksurface along one wall, once you take out the space used by the cooker, thesink, the kettle and toaster, and the washing up it leaves just the space ontop of one cupboard to do all the prep. When we moved in we immediately boughta Flytta trolley from Ikea as a temporary (5 year!) fix. (By the way, the photo doesn't do this problem justice, because I'd just loaded the dishwasher).

The non-corner corner cupboard

As our worksurface only goes along one wall I can’tunderstand why the end cupboard is a corner cupboard. Why do I have to scrabblearound trying to find something at the back of the cupboard when there is spaceto have a door?

Non-matching cupboards and handles

The wall cupboards above the metal table aren’t at the sameheight as the ones by the window, they have pewter handles when the rest aresilver, they don’t have a plinth like the others and the flouncy bit on top ofthe cupboards (no idea what that might be called) doesn’t continue down thesides (I really hope this kitchen wasn’t put in by a professional).

No draining board and a sink with a thin lip

When our dishwasher broke we didn’t have anywhere to put thewashing up – even with towels on the counter the water ran down the front ofthe doors damaging them. We also have a puddle of water on the counter prettymuch constantly, this is because the sink only has a thin edge (the tap ismounted in the work surface not the sink). I think it’s a sink that you aresupposed to fit under a granite worksurface, not on top of a laminate one.

Head injuries for anyone sitting on the fridge side ofthe table

Because of the step into the kitchen (and the placement ofthe existing cupboards) the only place we could put our fridge means anyonesitting at the table gets hit by the door when it is opened.

I’m actually surprised I’ve tolerated it this long. Goodriddance horrible kitchen!

Lego Playmat Tutorial

2011-12-29T11:50:00.000Z

We bought our 4 year old her first lego set for Christmas. Inpreparation for this I decided to make a playmat/storage bag to keep thepieces from straying all over the living room (and in the process remain sane). The idea comes from a friend whose children play on a similar mat that hadbelonged to their father when he was a child.

Whilst they are playing most of the lego stays on the mat,so when you want to clear it up you just pull on the cord and, hey presto, onetidy living room.

To make the bag you will need:

A piece of sturdy material as long as it is wide

Bias binding (get the widest one you can)

30 eyelets

Cord

I used Annamoa fabric from Ikea because 1) its quite thickand sturdy, so would hold up to being crawled around on 2) at 135cm its a bitwider than dress making fabric, so my mat could be bigger and 3) I had just theright amount left over from making curtains.

Lay out your fabric, then with a string and chalk to form agiant compass draw as big a circle as possible on the fabric. Cut this out.

Pin the bias binding all around the outside sandwiching theraw edges of the mat inside and sew in place. To work out how much bias youwill need multiply the width of your fabric (which is now the diameter of yourcircle) by π (3.14, remember that from school?) and add a bit for the overlap.It’s the same calculation for the amount of cord you need, but add a bit moreto give you room to tie a knot.

Now place your eyelets evenly around the edge of the fabric.At the moment my mat has 15 eyelets placed about 20cm apart, but after a fewdays of playing I’ve come to the conclusion that we need more, so I’ve boughtanother pack of 15 to fill in the gaps. When you are putting the eyelets in youneed a solid floor to hammer against – I ended up doing it on the patio - I found that hammering against floorboards wouldn't bend the eyelets properly.

Finally thread the cord through, tie off and play.

Advent Knitting

2011-12-24T15:03:00.000Z

Phew! I’ve done it, completed a marathon knit – only just intime seeing it is an Advent tree, the last few ornaments were done thenight before they needed to behung on the tree! There’s nothing like a deadline to get a job done.

This is my lovely tree, I’m very proud of it (although it isa little unstable, especially when 4 and 2 year olds try to hang theornaments). It took a lot of willpower to keep going and finish it, I got terriblydistracted by other projects. Having started in April on the tree, the ornamentswere ignored until it started to get chilly and I realised Christmas wasapproaching fast.

I’m a sociable knitter, I like to have a chat, or at thevery least watch TV whist I’m doing it. The tree bit of this pattern was theleast sociable thing I have ever knitted. Short rows and fluffy wool meantabsolute concentration, I felt like I had to count every single stitch. So nochatting, no TV and woe betide anyone who counted out loud in my presence!

We’ve got quiet a few knitted Christmas decorations in ourhouse. I think it’s a great excuse for me to knit toys and not to have to givethem away to stop them cluttering the house. My husband tolerates the livingroom being turned into a wool-fest because he knows it will all go back intothe loft in a couple of weeks.

My first Christmas project was my knitted nativity (designedby Jean Greenhowe). Again this was finished at the last minute, I was stillknitting Jesus on Christmas eve, which does seem quite appropriate.

My other knitty decorations (along with the tree) are alldesigned by my knitting hero Alan Dart. I adore his patterns, his attention todetail is wonderful and I love how much my work comes out looking like thepattern picture (I think the secret to this is using mattress stitch to sewthem together). If you are a knitter take a look at his website, you candownload pdf patterns for as little as £2.50. This year I spotted lots of pressfor a book called “Best in Show”, a pattern book of knitted dogs, but thenewspapers obviously hadn’t seen Alan Dart’s work, because his dogs (and cats)are so much better.

I’ve just received a package of wool, so I’m off for a happyknitting session, having a go at fairisle for the first time – so watch thisspace for the tears and successes (hopefully more of the latter).

Merry Christmas.

Bizarre objects in children's toys

2011-12-16T13:59:00.000Z

My daughter has just received a tea set from a preschoolfriend for Christmas, which has prompted two questions. Firstly, when didchildren start giving each other Christmas presents? I’m not getting on boardwith that trend, all the birthdays are expensive enough. Secondly, why is theremore often than not an unidentifiable or slightly random object in kids playsets?

This tea set contains all the things you would expect; cups,saucers, teapot and spoons, a few more random objects; cheese knife, choppingboard and a chicken thigh and (and this is the object that has me flummoxed) aPEANUT!!! What really freaks me out about this is that it’s the only life-sizedobject in the set; it's a giant peanut the size of a teacup. Also it’s a peanutstill in its shell, what child has ever seen an uncracked peanut?

My mum has a tea set for when the grandchildren come tovisit, in fact it’s a coffee set (tres chic, very French). Again this containsall the things you would expect - and a random colander.

Its not just tea sets that contain strange things, we’ve gota set of animal skittles five of which are easily identifiable as a monkey, flamingo,giraffe, elephant and a lion. The last might be a blue hippopotomus, I’m reallynot sure (and I've got a zoology degree). A friend (who is a professional biologist) calls it a “hippoprobably”.

My favourite random object comes from an Ikea garden playset,which my kids adore. They don’t seem to mind, but it does bother me that therabbit seems to be either quite unwell or someone has stuck a broom up itsbottom. I’ll leave it to you to draw your own conclusions as to what else thisrabbit could be doing.

Christmas - Making new family traditions

2011-12-12T15:30:00.000Z

We had a lovely day putting up the Christmas decorationsyesterday, the kids thought watching Mummy go up into the loft to get them wasexciting enough, so you can imagine how much fun actually putting the decorationsup was for them.

When my husband and I bought decorations the first year wewere married we tried to be coordinated, but totally failed. We decided on acolour theme, but then other things started creeping in and it started lookinglike quite a mishmash of ideas. When our eldest was born we realised we wouldhave to rethink the tree as we didn’t like the idea of her pulling over thetree and sitting amongst shards of broken glass baubles. So all the breakable(and usually shiny) trinkets have remained in the loft, to be replaced withfabric and wooden (so mostly matt) ornaments. The only shine on our tree nowcomes from the fairy lights and a bit of tinsel which actually lends it a farmore co-ordinated look, not what I was expecting when I had kids – I thoughteverything would get more garish.

Having kids has also made us merge 2 sets of Christmastraditions to create the ones we want our children to grow up with. Forinstance in my husband’s family all the presents for the children come fromSanta, regardless of who bought them. So parents, grandparents, aunts, unclesand friends got no credit (and no thank you letters).

As a child we used to send our letters to Santa up thechimney by burning them on the fire. We can’t do that as our fire is gas, so Ibought some beautiful felt envelopes addressed to Santa (from Great Little Trading Company) to hang on the tree. Yesterday I sat down with our 4 year old tohelp her write her first letter to Santa. She drew a lovely picture of him onhis sleigh and wrote “Slippers” underneath as her gift request. Then we placedthis in the envelope along with one that my husband had written for our 2 yearold. We told her that these were Santa’s magic envelopes for receiving letters.Fortunatly we did remember to take the letters out last night, the look on herface was a picture when she thought magic had taken her letter.

My friend Rachel told me that she was letting her childrenchoose one new decoration a year so when they leave home they’ll have 18Christmas decorations to take with them (although with current house prices they’llprobably be moving out when they are 30 not 18). We have taken on thattradition as our own. It was lovely letting the kids loose in the Christmasdecoration department and saying they could have whatever they wanted.

I have made one MASSIVE rookie parenting mistake. Because inthe new year we are having a wall knocked down and a new kitchen things are inthe process of being moved around in the house to make room. A lot of thisstuff has been dumped in the spare bedroom (along with the hidden presents),but now I need to sort this room out for my father-in-law to stay in overChristmas. So last night I decided to wrap all the presents and store themunder the tree to give me some room to sort everything else in the bedroom. BIGmistake. I now have 2 weeks of not taking my eyes off the tree for fear ofearly present opening. Wish me luck with that!

A few days of CBeebies

2011-12-03T13:00:00.001Z

After a couple of days with a poorly daughter cuddled up onthe sofa with no energy to do anything but watch TV I have nothing else on mymind but CBeebies. As a grown-up, I am being driven slightly mad by therepetitive nature of both the programmes and the scheduling (as wonderful as MrTumble is I can’t cope with three viewings in one day), but for a child thisrepetition is important. They love joining in shouting “Mr Tumble, Mr Tum-ble”or “Octonauts, to your stations”, the repetition makes them feel part of theprogramme rather than passively watching it. Of course the repetitive nature ofthe scheduling is because you aren’t supposed to sit there all day watchingCBeebies, so they repeat the same programme several times a day.

I do love CBeebies, there are very few dud programmes(naming no names, oh alright, Small Potatoes) and there are several that Iwould happily watch without the excuse of having children (Octonauts andCharlie & Lola). Plus there are no adverts. We are so lucky to have aninstitution like the BBC, when I took my daughter to the cinema the other dayshe was actually puzzled by the adverts before the film, because we only watchCBeebies she hadn’t seen any before!

Octonauts is a favourite in this household (and many of ourfriend’s too). We even had an Octonauts themed birthday party this year. If youdon’t have small children I do urge you to have a look on the BBC iPlayer(sorry non-UK people) and watch an episode. Imagine Thunderbirds, replacing thepuppets with a Manga-ish polar bear, penguin and pirate cat (and a fewsupporting cast members) who “explore, rescue, protect” from their underwaterbase. Instead of Thunderbird 1, 2 & 3 they have their submarines the GUP-Ato GUP-E (I have heard that the Christmas episode will feature the GUP-X).

The thing that makes Octonauts stand out from the rest hasto be the “scientific advisor” credits. The animals the Octonauts encounterexhibit real behaviours; they don’t shy away from explaining that sharks have alateral line or that there is a difference between jellyfish and comb jellies.Facts I learnt at University packaged for preschoolers. As my other half wasinfluenced in his career choice by the moon landing when he was small will allthe marine biology degree courses be over-subscribed in 15 years time?

Between writing the previous paragraphs and posting this I succumbed to my daughters bug and was forced to lie in bed watching daytime TV. Do you know what I did? I watched Octonauts all on my own!

Cake failure and triumph

2011-11-28T15:38:00.000Z

Hi

Welcome to my very first blog post. As a full time mum to 2 small children I don't have a lot of sensible conversations during the day, so I thought I might put some of the things I'd like to have conversations about on here instead. It will be nice to think about things other than Octonauts, diggers, and all those other things that small children enjoy (although I won't rule out blogging about Octonauts as it is truly fabulous).

I love trying my hand at various crafts, most successfully knitting, least successfully cake decorating. I'm determined not to let the cakes defeat me, so I thought my first story would be about a disaster that turned to a triumph this summer.

I try to be helpful at my daughter's preschool, so another mum and I organise the cake sales (there's one tomorrow, note to self: spend less time blogging, more time baking). Because of this the staff asked me if I would bake a retirement cake for the preschool leader. First thing to know about me (and please don't take advantage of this) is that I do tend to agree to help without thinking it through first. The other cake sale mum is obviously more sensible and avoided being given this job because when I thought about how many people it would have to feed I nearly passed out.

The second thing to know about me is that I do have a tendancy to look at a picture of a craft activity and think "I can do that". I will throw myself in at the deep end and try to make the most complicated things with only a basic knowledge of how that might work. So when I saw this lovely cake on the Martha Stewart website I knew it was the one. I liked it because 1) it looked nice and sophisticated for a retirement party 2) the kids at the preschool would love it and 3) I really have very little understanding of my abilities.

To give you an idea of how little ability I have here my first practice attempt was a little flat and biscuity, which seemed odd as I've done that recipe before, all I added was food colouring. Then I found the butter still in the microwave from being softened a little.

Second attempt was more successful. Not only did I remember to add the butter, but I also found gel food colourings are much more vivid, so I was really geared up for the actual cake being a huge success......but then I had to decorate it!

Two nights before the big day I towered my six multicoloured layers of sponges on top of one another, glueing them together with unbelievable quantities of buttercream. All was looking good. I had read about (thats it, read about, not ever used before) pourable fondant icing and what a lovely smooth finish this would give. I mixed the powder with the amount of water it said on the packet and poured - but it was so thick it stayed in the jug. So I added the teeny tiniest amount of water possible, poured, and watched as the icing poured down the sides of the cake, over the table and onto the floor.

That night I discovered the "Icing Hangover". You will not feel good at 3am if you eat a sizeable amount of the icing intended for a cake for 50 people to cure your depression at not being able to ice it.

Next day after a quick dash to the supermarket I had 3kg of royal icing ready to roll. It was the best bicep workout ever rolling all that out. It was so big I couldn't lift it and had to fashion a carrying device out of greaseproof paper and sellotape, but it covered the cake. It wasn't all that pretty, but it was done. All I had to do was take it to preschool the next day (another great bicep workout - if the icing weighed 3kg you can imagine how heavy the rest of it was).

At the party I could see the other mums were a bit disappointed, it was just a very large white cake with a plastic "Happy Retirement" sign on it. But the moment the cake was cut was one of the best ever. The "Ooohs" that reverberated around the room made me realise that all the practice cakes and icing disasters were worth it. I've never seen anyone pose for a picture with a slice of cake before!